I love black thongs
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
