I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
