what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
