he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
