you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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