Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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