Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
