we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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