there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
