I think i peed on brittanys purse
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
