So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
