my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
