people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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