and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
