In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
