omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
