how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize