ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
