next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
