Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
