I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
