After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
