I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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