Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
