worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
