I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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