They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
