I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
