when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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