Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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