PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
