I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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