so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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