why didn't you poke me back
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
