So drunk, too bad you don't want this
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Houston, we have a squirter
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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