She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
