Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
