I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
