this just has baby written all over it
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
