Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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