He had one of those small greek statue penises
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
