question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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