So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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