We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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