This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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