So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
