i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
