you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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