I don't usually arrange sex via text message
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just had sex on a roof
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Dick very happy bro
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
