so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You are a genius and a whore.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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