So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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