i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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