Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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