Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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